Re: A Request - Denied

Assalamu Alaikum.

I am muslim.I was eagerly looking for a japanese muslimah.I did complete my Masters in Computer Science and just join in a company. I have found japanese people arevery polite and they have a very good hospitality.Sometimes I feel very sad why they still do not enter in Islam. Itwould be very great for them. In world japanese products are very famous and japanese people are doing hard to supply the good items. But why they are not receiving the most essential thing (ISLAM)??

Secondly, i have found many times converted muslimsare more pious than by born muslims. So, I am lookingfor japanese converted muslimah for my life partner.Would you please help me in this purpose...

May Allah bless you. Allah Hafiz

#####

Dear Brother B,

If you are interested in finding a Japanese Muslimah to be your life partner, I may not be the best person to introduce you to one. Honestly, I have never been quite successful in matchmaking people. More importantly I would NEVER introduce some stranger to a worthy colleague of mine . You might have a Masters degree, a good job and maybe even not bad looking – but this thing called ‘life partnership’ is not just about the above-mentioned. There’s this thing called ‘personality’, and there’s another thing called ‘compatability’ and yes, there’s also that thing called ‘the One factors’.

Personality includes traits such as kindness, honesty, trustworthiness, understanding, caring blah blah blah. Compatibility is where one looks at the chances of two being able to pull it through as a couple – their similar or differing opinions in outlook of life, hobbies, financial standing, family background, blah blah blah. As for “the One factors”, they differs for different individuals – but these are the major criteria they look for in their partner. Some may look for high education, good pay and good look while others look for charisma and a good sense of humor, while there are yet who simply look for a "good, religious person", whatever that may entails.

After having listened to horror stories of foreigner husbands – I’m sorry, but this is what I’ve gathered so far - mostly of Pakistani origin, I’m definitely not keen on introducing yet another to an innocent Japanese muslimah. What if you are just interested in marrying a Japanese to ensure you get spousal visa? What if you are just interested in marrying a Japanese for financial gains? What guarantees can you give that you are sincere in marrying a new revert? That once married, you will never abandon her, instead, love her with all your heart and soul and take good care of her until death do you part? I don't know you and therefore I'm not going to take any uncalculated risk...

Yes, I agree that there are many muslim reverts who more pious than born muslims. That’s why it’s scary sometimes to think how many born muslims have spoiled the chances of nurturing another good muslim by not properly educating nor setting good examples for their muslim-revert partners. What guarantee can you give that you will not fall into the same category with other born muslims I have seen who has not taken up the responsibility to educate their wife themselves, or to at least send their wife for proper education in Islam?

I am sure you have met many Pakistani friends here who have married Japanese muslimah. Perhaps you stand a better chance to seek a single Japanese muslimah through your connection with them. If you are indeed sincere in building up a life with a pious Japanese muslimah in this country, I wish you all the best and may Allah guide you and bless you in your endeavor. (Otherwise, I pray that Allah protect all single Japanese muslimah from any potential hazards)


Yours sincerely,
A.Z. Haida